MotorTrend Says Yes To Teh Funny

The Z06 carrying an early-20th-century snow shovel. Oh, the things I do for art.

Note from Aaron: Yeah, yeah, this site is not supposed to be car-related… but recently my employer, MotorTrend, let me get away with this wonderful and silly article involving a 670 hp Corvette Z06 and a ridiculous scavenger hunt. I’m happy with how it came out, not least of all because this New York boy still marvels that he lives in Los Angeles and gets to do cool stuff in and around Hollywood.

Oh, teh “teh” thing will be funny to about four of my friends (Jeff, Steve, Jonsey and ‘Vark). To everyone else: Sorry.

It started as yet another skirmish in MotorTrend‘s ongoing Detroit-versus-Los Angeles interoffice rivalry. Editorial chief Erik Johnson and I were down to the usual below-the-belt tropes—Los Angeles offers nothing but traffic and plastic surgery, Detroit is made of snow and despair—when I, the idiot-genius, blurted out, “What do you have in Detroit that we don’t have in L.A.?

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Horse Poo

Note from Aaron: I wrote this seven years ago. Shortly after I more-or-less finished it, our dog Bayla, who is the star of this little tale, shuffled off this mortal canine coil, and I was too upset to  publish it — and then, as with most things in my life, I forgot all about it. The rug is gone, too, but if you read to the end of this stomach-turning story, I think you’ll agree that’s probably for the best.

Given the title of the post, what the hell did you expect me to use for a picture?

I was going to start out with a warning that the following topic might not be suitable for those of gentle constitutions. My plan was to warn whoever read this that they should carefully consider the first sentence—which, in the first draft, was “I’ve just finished cleaning a pile of horse poo from our living room rug”—and think very carefully about whether to proceed.

Then it occurred to me that if I just titled this essay “Horse Poo”, that might weed people out automatically. Continue reading “Horse Poo”

The snorkel pool

The snorkel pool.
The snorkel pool.

I recently experienced what may be the most strange-dash-detestable-dash-wonderful thing I have ever encountered: The snorkel pool.

For those who aren’t familiar—I certainly wasn’t—a snorkel pool is basically a man-made* pond stocked with colorful (and, in some cases, worryingly large) tropical fish.

* Normally I keep my writing gender-neutral and say “human-made”, but if this thing doesn’t have “guy” written all over it, I don’t know what does.

Continue reading “The snorkel pool”