Back in the 1980s, the HBO comedy series Not Necessarily the News had a segment by Rich Hall called Sniglets, which were words that should be in the dictionary but weren’t. (I tried to submit one: Sklieu, noun, a toilet seat that doesn’t form a complete circle. My childhood comedy chops needed a great deal of sharpening).
One of my favorite Sniglets was musquirt: The liquid discharge that you get at the first squeeze of a mustard bottle. For some reason—well, not some reason, a very specific reason, that being that I am retentive—I get disproportionately annoyed when things don’t work as they should, and musquirt is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Why? Because it’s not necessary. No condiment should require this level of forethought nor be this difficult to operate. Continue reading “My Losing Battle Against Musquirt”